I’ve been married for 3 years (such a long time, I know!), and it is the best thing I’ve ever done. Being married has taught me how to love; a lesson that is a lot harder than it looks.
Before this, I thought love was that feeling you get. You know the one, so I won’t waste time describing it. This feeling always scared me a little because what happened once it went away? This feeling was always a tiny bit superficial and flaky. It inspired anxiety, possessiveness, a lack of authenticity, and a weird obsession with perfection. But this love that I am living in now is different.
That’s what they all say.
Of course! I’m not the first nor the last to experience it. And I know that it is something special because it’s just like all those oldies used to say in their long-winded stories back in the day: you have to work for it. You have to go through some things together, hit a few bumps in the road, use teamwork to solve a few mysteries, work on yourself, and persevere for your love to be worth anything. Sometimes that feeling of love will disappear, you won’t be able to find it. But that’s only because it transformed when you weren’t paying attention. It became less butterflies in your stomach and more fixing your husband his favourite meal even while you’re still annoyed with him. It’s him being gentle and soft-spoken even when you’ve upset him. It’s the both of you sitting in silence just happy to be in each other’s company. These are such minor examples but you get my point. Love truly becomes special and beautiful when you’ve put in the work.
When I still had butterflies, I struggled with so many insecurities. Sitting in silence with my husband made me overthink and worry. Now the silence is a welcome escape for both of us. Through all of the ups and downs, we’ve fallen in love with each other deeper than we could have imagined. Even the annoyances make us laugh. We get each other now, we’re best friends.
I hope this wasn’t too preachy. I’ve just really been feeling my husband lately and had to express myself.
Mona Lysa 