“There something about her that I just don’t like.”
We know this phrase well, and somehow it always seems targeted towards women. Men’s personalities, no matter how outrageous or controversial, never seem to be picked apart quite as much.
Every single woman on Earth knows what this feels like to some degree. I can remember so many of my high school friends telling me they thought I was a snob when they first met me. Had I given them any reason to believe that? No. I didn’t think I was better than anyone, I always spoke kindly, and I wanted so desperately to make friends. I found that even when I pushed the boundaries of my comfort zone and took on the role of semi-social butterfly, the same thing happened. It was beyond frustrating because it gave me no direction in which to go to change the cycle. It made me angry because, try as I might to change myself and act exactly how the social skills subreddit taught me to, I still seemed to radiate the energy of an insufferable cow.
My mother taught me to be confident, unapologetic, open-minded. She taught me to set boundaries for myself and not to disturb the boundaries of others. She also taught me that all of my problems start with me. I’ve lived by this since I was 17 and it seems like common sense, but it causes waves amongst those who have not learned these things yet. We forget that the opinions of others are not truth. That oftentimes we may be the target of those projecting their insecurities. There’s something about her that they don’t like because it serves as a reminder to them how much they lack. Have you ever noticed how they shout this so loudly about attractive, intelligent and/or successful women? They receive the most hate because the jealous and insecure believe that it is their duty to take these women down a notch. Their own fears have deceived them into believing these innocent women are the problem, when the problem has only ever existed inside of themselves.
You know your intentions, you know your heart, you know what kind of woman you are. Don’t let anyone (but your therapist or your mom) try to tell you anything.
Mona Lysa 